I trust you completely
by Candra Jade
Summary: "Sleep with me, Tony." Tony thought he had somehow misheard. "Sorry, what?" "I want to have sex with you, Tony. I need to get over Somalia and I tried to do it by sleeping with this guy tonight, but I just couldn't. But I think with you, it would be different, because I trust you, Tony."
1. Chapter 1

**I trust you completely**

**A/N: **This story is set in season 7,somewhere after "Damokles", but before "Jetlag". It is rated M for sex in chapter two and mentions of rape and torture. I will not go into graphic detail, but if you are sensitive when it comes to these topics I suggest to skip this story.

This is my first NCIS story and English is not my native language, so I'm a little nervous about posting this. I hope you guys forgive me a few Ziva-isms in my story.

If you are curious about Ziva's date dress: There is a picture of it in my profile.

**Chapter 1**

The little black dress she wore made crystal clear where she wanted the evening to end and Tony hated it. It had been four month since they had rescued Ziva from Somalia and since then he had wanted to tell her how he really felt about her, but he had never had the guts. He was happy that they were back to the level of trust and friendship they had had before he had shot Rivkin.

But it was nearly killing him to see her all dressed up in a dress that screamed "let's skip dessert", ready to meet some other guy.

Tony disguised his feelings with a low whistle and looked Ziva up and down. "Nice dress. This Sam guy must have planned something big that you dressed up like that."

Ziva shrugged nonchalantly. "Just a light dinner and then to this new club for a drink or two and maybe some dancing."

"Dancing? That's what you call it nowadays?" Tony asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Mind your own business, Tony and go do what you usually do on a Friday night."

"Watching old movies with a pizza and a beer?" McGee asked.

"To your information: I have a hot date today, too. Like I do most Fridays. I'll pick her up in an hour."

"Sure, Tony. If that were the case you would have bugged us with your plans all day," Ziva answered, looking right through him like always.

"Unlike some people here, I don't parade around the bullpen in my 'I'm gonna get laid tonight' outfit and tell everybody about my date," Tony answered.

"Yes you do. And I didn't tell everybody. I told Abby, Abby told McGee and he told you. Have fun with your pizza and your movie," Ziva said and left with a "good weekend" for McGee before Tony could come up with a comeback.

A little more than two hours later Tony had settled on his couch with a Hitchcock movie, a pizza and his third bottle of beer - sometimes he hated how well his coworkers knew him. Tony tried to concentrate on the interaction between Tippi Hedren and Sean Connery on the screen, but he soon realized that he wouldn't win this game. His thoughts were with Ziva. She must have finished her meal and moved to the club by now. Were she and her date discussing if they were going to his or her place? Or was this asshole (Tony just knew he was an asshole) so impressed with Ziva's outfit that he had suggested to forget the club and go home right after dinner? In this case Ziva was probably already screwing the guy.

Tony was just considering to switch to something stronger than beer when he heard a knock on his door.

Surprised Tony stopped the movie and answered the door and was even more surprised to see no other than Ziva standing in front of him. She looked as hot as she had two hours ago in her short black dress, but her hair was a mess, her lipstick was smeared and she looked like she was trying very hard not to cry.

"Sorry for interrupting your hot date," Ziva said sarcastically and tried but failed to give him a cocky smile.

"Oh, she cancelled on short notice. I really hate it when chicks do that. But let's not talk about my date, Sweetcheeks. Looks like yours didn't go so well. What happened?" Tony asked in a compassionate tone that didn't fit his flippant words.

"I'd rather not discuss this standing in your door-frame, Tony. Can I come in?" Ziva asked.

"Of course. I was just going to get myself a drink. Would you like one, too?" he asked, because Ziva looked like she needed one.

"That's the best idea I heard tonight."

A moment later Tony returned with a bottle of Tequila - remembering that she preferred it over Jack Daniels - and two glasses and resumed his seat on the couch. He filled the glasses and waited for Ziva - who had sat down next to him - to start talking, but she didn't. She just sipped at her drink and stared into space.

"Ah, I see. You want me to make use of my extensive knowledge about dates to guess what went wrong. Well, Sweetcheeks, I have much experience with dates, but not with bad dates, considering that I'm very skilled when it comes to pleasing women in- and outside of the bedroom. But you're lucky that I'm a great investigator, too. Let's see. You had your dinner reservation two hours ago, so that probably means that dinner went well. Judging by the early hour and the state of your hair and make-up I am making the educated guess that you two skipped the club and moved the date to the bedroom. So, was he that bad?" Tony asked, trying hard to keep his tone joking as if the thought of Ziva in bed with another guy didn't bother him at all.

"We didn't have sex." Tony was glad that Ziva seemed too lost in thought to notice his relief at that statement. "I was going to sleep with Sam tonight, like you already noticed when you saw my dress. But I couldn't."

"Why not?" Tony asked confused.

Ziva inhaled deeply and empties her glass with one big sip.

"You weren't so far off with your assumptions. Sam and I flirted throughout the whole dinner and when we were done eating he suggested that we go to his place and I agreed. As soon as we were in his apartment he pressed me against the door and pulled up my dress. He was rough. I never minded rough, but tonight..." Ziva couldn't finish her sentence and Tony noticed that she tried very hard to blink away the tears in her eyes.

Instinctively Tony moved closer to his partner. He took the empty glass from her shaking hands and brushed her hair out of her face, causing Ziva to meet his gaze.

"You can talk to me, Ziva," Tony said in a gentle tone.

"When he touched me... it all came back suddenly. Everything that happened in Somalia... and I panicked. I told him to stop but he didn't. He said I had been teasing him all night and he wouldn't take a no as an answer now. I kicked him in the balls and left and the next thing I know is that I was standing at your doorstep," Ziva admitted.

Tony tried to process everything Ziva had told him and he suddenly felt sick when he thought about what she was hinting at. He had known that Ziva had been tortured in Somalia, but he had never allowed himself to even accept the possibility that they might have violated her.

"Ziva... were you..." Tony took a deep breath and forced himself to say the word. "Did they rape you?"

Ziva just nodded because she couldn't speak anymore. She had finally lost the fight against the tears and was sobbing violently.

Tony had never felt so helpless in his life. He wanted nothing more than to take Ziva in his arms and comfort her, but he didn't want to scare her by holding her tight. Tony decided to test the waters by gently rubbing Ziva's back and to his surprise instead of flinching at the touch Ziva moved closer to him and started crying on his shoulder. Tony didn't hesitate any longer, but pulled Ziva in his arms and let her cry while he stroked her hair and back.

Eventually Ziva calmed down enough to speak. She moved out of Tony's embrace and started talking, but didn't meet his eyes. "The first two weeks they tortured and questioned me, but they soon found out that I couldn't tell them much of value. But two weeks of torture and truth serum was enough for them to find out who my father was. They contacted him, wanted to trade me for secret information and incarcerate terrorists. My father declined. The Mossad doesn't negotiate with terrorists. No exceptions. I thought they would kill me now, but they didn't. Saleem said that I wasn't worth much, but that I had a pretty body and he and his men were bored. That's when the raping started. Saleem raped me every day and sometimes he passed me on to his men. On these days they took turns taking me. Sometimes there were four or five men a day and most times they didn't even allow me to clean myself afterwards. I prayed every day that they would finally get tired of me and kill me. But they never did."

Tony wanted to say something, anything to make her feel better, but he had no idea what. Finally Ziva looked up, probably searching for his reaction in his face because of his silence. So many emotions rushed through Tony and he wondered which ones Ziva could see when she looked at him. Blind rage, disgust and hatred for Saleem and his men. Compassion and hurt because of what Ziva had to go through. And finally this damned helplessness.

Ziva must have misinterpreted his signals, because she looked away in shame. "I'm sorry, Tony. I shouldn't have told you that. You must be so disgusted with me."

"Ziva, look at me!" Tony demanded, just to mentally kick himself because of his sharp tone a second later. But it worked, Ziva looked up to meet his gaze. Tony slowly raised his hand and gently brushed Ziva's tears away. "I could never be disgusted with you. You are the most amazing, brave and strong person I know and I'm proud to be your partner and friend. I'm just so damned furious at Saleem and his men. A bullet in the head was far too good for that pig. I want to break every single bone in his body and I hate that I can't do this and that even if I could, that wouldn't take away all the pain you have endured. I wished I could do something, anything to make you feel better. What can I do, Ziva?" Tony asked desperately.

"Sleep with me, Tony."

Tony thought he had somehow misheard. "Sorry, what?"

"I want to have sex with you, Tony. I need to get over Somalia and I tried to do it by sleeping with this guy tonight, but I just couldn't. But I think with you, it would be different, because I trust you, Tony."

For the second time this evening Tony was speechless. He had wanted Ziva from the moment he first saw her and even more when he started to fall in love with her. But he never made a move on her (except for his usual flirting) because he knew that it would change everything. He didn't know if he could go back to their comfortable friendship and partnership after making love to her. But no matter how loud his mind screamed "bad idea" he knew that he wouldn't deny Ziva her wish. He would do anything for Ziva.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Tony finally asked.

"I want to get over this, Tony, I need to get over this. I want to be able to live a normal life and to sleep with a man again. I don't want to let Saleem win by breaking me," Ziva stated firmly.

"He didn't break you, Ziva. You are far too strong for that. But even a Ninja needs time to get over what you have been through. Maybe it's just too soon."

"That's not it. I don't think it would change anything if I waited a few more months. I still wouldn't be able to sleep with Sam or some other guy. But you're not some other guy. You're my friend and partner who has always had my back. I trust you and I know you would never hurt me."

"I'm honored that you trust me so much, Ziva."

Ziva gave Tony a weak smile. "Is that a yes?"

"How could I turn down that offer by such a beautiful lady," Tony answered with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

Ziva smiled again and leaned in to kiss Tony, but he stopped her before their lips met.

"Not like this, Ziva," he told the confused woman in front of him. "I usually treat a lady to dinner before I sleep with her. Are you free next Saturday? I would cook for you. I'm not such a bad cook, you know."

"Now I must test that statement. Is seven o'clock okay?"

"Perfect." That would give Tony a week to arrange everything and plan a romantic evening for Ziva. She deserved more than just sex and he would do whatever he could to help her get at ease and enjoy the evening.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you at work on Monday then," Ziva said and was about to get up before Tony stopped her.

"Wait. I know how you drive when you are sober and in a good mood. I don't dare to imagine how you drive after a bad day, a glass of Tequila and probably a few glasses of wine with your dinner. Why don't you stay here tonight? We could watch a movie or two and when you get tired you can sleep in my bed. I'll take the couch," Tiny offered.

"I'm not really dressed for a DVD evening, Tony," Ziva protested weakly.

Tony just smiled and rushed to his bedroom and a few minutes later he returned with one of his old College Sweaters that would be longer than the dress Ziva currently wore on her.

Ziva thanked him and went to the bathroom to change and wash her tear strained face. When she returned Tony had put another movie in the player and a fluffy blanked on the couch. He had also refilled their glasses and placed a selection of snacks on the table.

Ziva smiled and got comfortable on the couch next to Tony, wrapping the blanket around herself. "What are we watching?" Ziva asked and Tony gave her his best boyish smile.

"This is clearly a case for a bad date movie and you're lucky that I have just the right one. 'Blind Date' with Bruce Willis and Kim Basinger. You'll like it."

Tony was glad to see Ziva actually smile a few times during the movie. He loved her smile. At the end of the movie - and several drinks later - Ziva had fallen asleep against Tony's shoulder. Tony marveled at the fact that after all Ziva had been through, she was still comfortable being close to him and letting him touch her. He really hoped that Ziva was right and her trust for him would stop her from being scared when he slept with her. He couldn't bear the thought of his Ziva being frightened or disgusted by him.

Tony scoped the sleeping Ziva in his arms and wanted to pick her up, but she stirred and opened her eyes sleepily before he could stand up with her in his arms.

"It's okay, Ziva," he whispered soothingly. "I am just carrying you to bed."

"Tony, I can walk on my own," Ziva protested.

"I know that. You're my Ninja, you can do everything on your own. But you don't have to. It doesn't make you weak to let somebody take care of you from time to time."

"Okay," Ziva agreed, probably too tired to argue and snuggled back into Tony's embrace, closing her eyes. He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom and gently laid her down. Tony tugged Ziva in and caressed her hair until her snoring told him that she was peacefully sleeping. "Goodnight, Ziva," Tony whispered and moved to the couch, letting the door to the bedroom a crack open to make sure that he heard Ziva if she had a nightmare. But to his relief she didn't and Tony hoped that was because she felt safe with him.

**A/N 2: **The next chapter will take place next Saturday. I'm not sure if I want to stick with Tony's POV or switch to Ziva's, so I would like to hear your opinions.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: **I'm finally back with chapter 2. This story was supposed to be a Two-Shot, but chapter 2 was getting longer and longer, so I decided to split it into two chapters. Most of you wanted both POVs, so that's what you get.

One of you mentioned in a review that it would be unlikely for Ziva to want sex with Tony so soon after being raped. If it was any other woman, I would agree with you. But it is Ziva we are talking about. When McGee asked her in the show how she felt shortly before coming back to NCIS, she just answered that the last three months were hard, but the past is over now. That's how Ziva's mind works. I think it was the only way for her to survive everything she has been through in her life - moving on, as fast as possible. My story takes place about a month after this conversation with McGee, about four months after her rescue. She has physically recovered, found a new apartment, applied to become an US-citizen and started working again. I think in Ziva's opinion, it is time to get over the experience and move on with her life and sleeping with Tony is her way to try this.

**Chapter 2**

**Tony POV**

Tony had never been so nervous before a date. Was this even a date? He hoped it was, because he wouldn't be able to live with seeing Ziva dating other men after making love to her. Tony really wanted to tell her how he felt tonight, but he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable in case she didn't feel the same. That would ruin everything between them and it would make Ziva leave and eventually find someone else. Tony still wasn't convinced this was a good idea, he was afraid it was way too soon. But he knew how stubborn Ziva was and how much she hated weakness. And he knew if he messed this up Ziva would find someone else to try and get over the experience in Somalia with. Tony couldn't bear the thought of someone else touching her after all she had to endure. Someone who probably wouldn't know about it and wouldn't be gentle with her. He couldn't let that happen.

Tony had spend all week making everything perfect for Ziva. He had even bought a king-size bed to replace his twin bed, because he wanted to hold Ziva in his arms tonight. Tony finished his preparations in the bedroom and critically inspected his work. Now that everything was ready and Ziva was supposed to be here any minute it seemed completely over-done to him. Tony had bought white silk linens for the bed and had decorated the nightstands with a dozen vanilla scented candles and a vase with a single red rose on each. He had also added a jar of Honeydust (Ziva had said she liked that once) and a bottle of massage oil in case Ziva needed a little help loosening up. His bedroom looked like a damned Honeymoon Suite and all of a sudden Tony was worried that this would scare Ziva away instead of help making her comfortable. He was about to remove the roses and the candles when he heard a knock on the door. Too late.

Tony opened the door and smiled at Ziva. She looked beautiful but not overly dressed up in black pants and a green blouse with only a hint of make-up and Tony was glad that he had decided to dress semi-casual in black slacks and a button-up shirt.

"Right on time. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. I made Pasta and Garlic bread and Tiramisu as a dessert."

"Sounds good."

**Ziva POV**

Ziva took in her surroundings while Tony disappeared in the kitchen. Tony had not just cleaned his apartment, but put away all his GSM and Playboy magazines, too. The only items on his large couch table were three tall candles and the remote of his stereo system. Ziva couldn't help but be touched at his effort to remove the hints to his playboy lifestyle and make an effort to create a nice atmosphere.

"You can put on some music if you like. There's a Sinatra CD in the stereo, but feel free to choose something else," Tony called from the kitchen.

"Sinatra is fine," Ziva answered and turned the stereo on. 'I've got you under my skin' started to play and Ziva wondered if Tony had chosen this CD on purpose. Ziva followed Tony to the kitchen. He had already set the table and Ziva noticed surprised that he had actually put effort in this task. There was a white table close and over it a red table runner made of a shimmering red fabric. On the table runner Tony had arranged two large glasses with white swimming candles and red rose petals. A bottle of good wine was already on ice. It looked ... romantically. Tony didn't give away if the romantic atmosphere was intended, but chatted carefree like a always did.

"Go ahead and pour us some wine while I fill the plates."

A few minutes later Tony and Ziva were enjoying the - surprisingly good - pasta and the wine and for the first time since she knew Tony, Ziva didn't know what to talk about. She would never admit it, but she was nervous. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea at all.

"Come on, I know what you're thinking. Just admit it: This is the best pasta you've ever tasted and you're impressed," Tony said with a cocky grin and Ziva smiled. Trust Tony to lighten a tensed atmosphere by being... Tony.

"You're right, Tony. I'm so proud of you because you are able to boil water, put some noodles in and out in time and heat a store bored sauce," Ziva answered teasingly.

"Store bored sauce?!" Tony exclaimed in mock anger. "This is an old, sacred DiNozzo family recipe that has been passed on from generation to generation. My grandmother would turn over in her grave if she heard you insulting her pasta sauce!"

Ziva laughed. "Okay, okay! I'll let your grandmother rest in peace. The sauce is delicious," Ziva admitted and she loved the proud smile her compliment put on his face.

"Wait until you have tasted dessert."

"Another old family recipe?" Ziva asked.

"Family recipe, yes. But not that old. It's my mother's recipe. She made it on special occasions. I found it in one of her books years after her death."

"And you have been using it to impress women ever since?"

Ziva could have sworn Tony looked nervous for a moment. "No, I actually never made it before today. I never had a reason. But don't worry: It turned out fantastically."

Ziva wasn't sure if she was flattered or scared that this night was obviously a very special occasion for Tony. This wouldn't just be sex. She had known that it would be more than sex for her, that it would mean something to her, but she had prepared herself not to show it, because she didn't think Tony felt the same. Had she been wrong?

"Ready for the best Tiramisu you've ever had?" Tony asked, while putting their empty plates in the sink and placing the smaller ones with dessert on the table.

"You're so full of yourself, Tony," Ziva said, rolling her eyes.

"It's not arrogance when it's true. I'm a man with many talents," Tony answered suggestively and they both laughed when they heard the beginning of 'The best is yet to come' from the stereo. "See, even Frankie thinks so," Tony said, still laughing.

**Tony POV**

He was happy to hear Ziva laugh again. He had heard her laugh too seldom since Somalia and he swore then and there that he would do whatever he could to make her laugh and smile more, to make her happy again.

"I'm not sure if it is a good idea to boost your ego even more, but the Tiramisu was really tasty. Thanks for dinner. I'll help you with the dishes." Ziva offered, pulling Tony out of his thoughts.

"The dishes can wait until tomorrow, Ziva. There are some other things I want to do right now," Tony answered with a charming smile.

"So eager, yes?" Ziva asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Pull your thoughts out of the gutter, Ziva. I was talking about dancing! We've known each other for nearly five years and we never danced together," Tony stated and offered his hand to a seemingly surprised Ziva. He let her into the living room and switched to the last track on the CD before pulling Ziva into his arms. It was a somewhat risky choice and he hoped Ziva would get his message and not run away when she did.

_Never thought I'd fall, but when I hear you call,  
I'm getting sentimental over you.  
Things you say and do just thrill me through and through,  
I'm getting sentimental over you._

Tony studied Ziva's face as he hold her close, but he just couldn't read her emotions in those deep brown eyes. At least Ziva made no attempt to end the dance and leave and Tony supposed that was a good thing.

_I thought I was happy I could live without love,  
Now I must admit, love is all I'm thinking of.  
Won't you please be kind, and just make up your mind  
That you'll be sweet and gentle, be gentle with me_

Did Ziva realize that he was practically offering his heart on a silver platter? For a moment he thought she had and was going to say something about it. His heart raced so fast that he was sure Ziva could feel it when she raised her hand and caressed his cheek.

"Let's move this to the bedroom," was all she said.

It was the first time in his life that Tony was disappointed to hear those words. He really would have preferred an "I love you" or something else that would show that Ziva returned his feelings. He was really turning into a sap.

"Your wish is my command," Tony answered as cheerfully as he could and let Ziva to the bedroom.

When Ziva took in her surrounding she just stood there, looking around in ... confusion, shock? It felt like ages that Ziva said nothing and Tony was getting really worried. He tried to see the room with Ziva's eyes. What was wrong? Did the romantic atmosphere scare her? Or was it something else? He spotted the Honeydust. Ziva knew he had given this as a gift to countless women. Shit. Or was it the massage oil? Getting a massage from him would require Ziva to turn her back to him, to get herself in a vulnerable position. How could he have been so insensitive?

"Ziva, I'm so sorry, I've been an idiot. I'll get rid of the oil and the Honeydust. We won't use it, it's okay," Tony started rambling frantically.

Now Ziva's look was clearly one of confusion. Not the Honeydust or the massage oil? Then it must have been the cheesy candles and roses. She obviously didn't want romance. As much as it hurt him, he would do this to her terms.

"The candles and roses were too much, right? I'm sorry, Ziva, I thought that might help you to feel comfortable. Give me a minute to get rid of all the stuff, okay?" _Please don't go._

Tony made his way to the nightstands but was stopped by Ziva's hand on his arm. Tony turned around and met Ziva's eyes with a questioning gaze.

"You bought a king-sized bed," was the first thing she said, confusing Tony even more. What was wrong with this?

"And you prepared all that," she continued, gesturing to the candles and roses. "Why?" Ziva asked, sounding very vulnerable to Tony.

"Like I said, I wanted to make you feel comfortable," Tony said with a gentle tone. "And the bed... I wanted to hold you tonight," Tony admitted.

"Why?" Ziva asked again, her tone barely more than a whisper.

"Because..." Tony took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Ani ohev otach, Ziva."

**Ziva POV**

Ziva was speechless for a moment. Had Tony really just admitted his love for her? And in her native language? Since when did he speak Hebrew anyways?

"When have you learned to say that in Hebrew?" Ziva finally managed to answer.

"Right after we rescued you from Somalia," Tony answered. "I wanted to tell you ever since, but I never worked up the courage, because I have no idea if you feel the same and I didn't want to ruin everything. Did I ruin everything?"

Tony sounded really scared and Ziva raised her hand to gently caress his cheek to reassure him. "No, you didn't. And I do feel the same," Ziva answered with a smile.

Tony grinned like a kid on Christmas and kissed Ziva passionately. Ziva returned his kiss with equal enthusiasms, not breaking it until she really needed to breath. It had been three years since Ziva had kissed Tony on their undercover mission and even then it had been amazing. But it didn't come anywhere near what she was experiencing now. This kiss wasn't for a job and it was so much more then passion into it. Ziva had never felt like that during a kiss and she wondered if this was what kissing your soul mate felt like.

When they finally had to break the kiss to get some air into their lungs Ziva leaned into Tony's embrace, cuddling against his chest while she caught her breath.

When she finally looked up she was sure that her smile rivaled Tony's. Tony gently caressed her cheek and his expression changes to tender and serious. "I don't want this to be a one-time thing, Neshama."

Ziva smiled. "How many Hebrew terms have you learned?"

"Just a few, mainly endearments," Tony admitted. "I hoped that I would have a reason to use a pet name for you and you didn't seem to be so fond of Sweetcheeks. I have a few more in store, but I kind of like Neshama."

"Do you know what it means?" Ziva asked, curious why he had chosen this one.

Tony nodded. "It means 'soul' or 'spirit', but it is also used as an endearment if I'm not mistaken." Ziva nodded and Tony continued his explanation. "When I thought I'd lost you... a part of me died, Ziva. Nothing made sense anymore, because without you, the better part of me is missing. You're my soul, Ziva and without you, I don't have spirit."

Ziva had tears in her eyes at this confession. "No one has ever said something like that to me."

Tony smiled and stroked Ziva's hair tenderly. "Is this a yes to this being more than a one-time thing?"

"It is. I want this to last, Tony, because I need you. I never needed anyone before and this scares me, but I need you in my life," Ziva admitted.

"That's good to hear, because Gibbs will probably kill us for this," Tony answered with a crooked smile.

Ziva laughed. "No, he won't. He will just head-slap us. And it will be totally worth it."

"More than worth it," Tony agreed and kissed Ziva again. This second kiss was very gentle and less heated than the first one and Ziva basked in Tony's tenderness while she caressed his hair and neck. When the kiss ended Ziva let her hands wander to Tony's chest and started unbuttoning his shirt. She took her time and caressed each inch of naked skin that appeared under the fabric. Tony seemed mesmerized by Ziva's actions and she could feel how much her gentle touch affected him by the fast beating of his heart under her fingertips.

Ziva gave Tony a seductive smile and took his hand, leading him to the bed. They sat down on the covers and Tony tried to pull Ziva in a gentle hug, but she had other ideas. A moment later Ziva was sitting on Tony's lap, straddling him and sharing passionate kisses while she led her hands wander up and down her partner's naked back. Tony followed her lead and allowed his hands to gently explore the skin under Ziva's blouse. He caressed her back, her hips and her stomach, but didn't attempt to touch her breasts or to unbutton her blouse. Ziva appreciated his concern, but she wanted him to touch her more intimately. She enjoyed his kisses and caresses, but she wanted his hands all over her body. Ziva ended the kiss and brought a little space between their bodies, earning a concerned look from Tony. She quickly reassurred him with a seductive smile and started unbuttoning her shirt. Tony's eyes wandered from her face to her chest and his expression made clear that he liked her black lace bra.

"Like what you see?" Ziva asked, although she knew very well that he did.

"Very much, but I would enjoy the view much more if the bra was gone," he said with a grin.

"Would you? And what are you going to do about that problem?" Ziva asked flirtatiously.

Tony's grin grew even wider as he unfastened Ziva's bra with a quick motion. A moment later the piece of fabric was on the floor and Tony kissed Ziva again, gently and expertly kneading her breasts simultaneously. Ziva moaned and thoroughly enjoyed the attention Tony was giving her breasts. Tony knew what he was doing. He was driving her crazy when he let his thumbs massage her nipples with just the right amount of pressure. He hadn't even touched her below the waist, but she could already feel the ache building between her legs.

She must have subconsciously moved even closer, because suddenly Ziva could feel Tony's fully erect penis press against her sex. The sensation took her by surprise and for a moment Ziva felt fear and the need to bring some space between them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Tony POV**

Tony abruptly stopped the kiss and moved a few inches backwards when he felt Ziva jerk in his arms. Damned! He had scared her, exactly what he had wanted to prevent. Suddenly, all the passion and arousal he had felt a moment ago was replaced by worry and regret.

"I'm so sorry, Ziva. Are you okay?" he asked as gently as he could and caressed her cheek tenderly.

Ziva nodded and managed a half-smile. "I'm fine, don't worry."

Tony shook his head. "I scared you. I reminded you of those bastards."

"No, Tony, you didn't," Ziva said forcefully. "What I felt when you touched me was nowhere close to what I felt back then. You're nothing like them. You stopped the moment you felt that I was uncomfortable." Ziva's eyes wandered to Tony's penis which had quickly deflated. "You don't feel pleasure when I don't."

"Of course not, Ziva! Did you really think that I could enjoy myself when I'm causing you pain or fear instead of pleasing you?" Tony asked incredulously.

"No, I didn't think you would. But many men do. The pigs in Somalia got turned on when they noticed I was in pain, that's why I tried very hard not to give them the satisfaction of showing it. They were bastards. But it's not only them. My first time was with an older Mossad officer. It was a quickie in a weapon's carrier and he didn't care or didn't notice that he was hurting me. And most of my lovers after him didn't care if they were pleasing me or not. That's why I always preferred to be on top. A woman has to take what she wants," Ziva said with a smile.

Tony suddenly had the urge to find all of Ziva's previous lovers and give them a black eye. Nobody should treat his Ziva like that! Tony had always taken pride in being a good lover and making sure the women he was with enjoyed themselves, but with Ziva it wasn't a question of pride. He just wanted to make her feel good - in and outside the bedroom.

Tony gently stroked Ziva's hair. "I told you already that I don't mind you being on top, but with me you don't have to be the dominant one for me to please you. I will prove that to you one day, but I think tonight won't be the night. It's too soon, Neshama. I scared you and I don't want to do that to you again."

"I'm really okay, Tony. I was just scared for a moment because it took me by surprise. I don't want to stop."

Tony shared a long look with Ziva, trying to figure out if she really wanted this or if she was just too stubborn to admit defeat. When he didn't find a clear answer in her eyes, Tony tried suggesting a compromise.

"Let's just slow down a little and see what you're comfortable with. But you have to tell me when I'm making you uncomfortable and then we'll stop. I don't mind if we don't do more than kissing and cuddling tonight or anytime soon. I love you, Ziva and as long as I have you in my life and in my arms I don't care about the sex."

Ziva smiled. "Who are you and what have you done with Tony DiNozzo?"

Tony returned her smile and kissed her gently before he answered her question. "I'm getting sentimental over you."

"I can see that," Ziva answered with a grin.

"So, are you okay with slowing down? You know, the massage offer still stands."

"Sounds good, but not for tonight. I don't want to just lie down and let you pamper me, I want to touch you, too. But I'd like to try the Honeydust," Ziva proposed seductively.

Tony grinned. "No complain about that." He grabbed the Honeydust container and opened it, but before he could take the feather and put it to good use Ziva took the container from him.

"Ladies first." She gently pushed Tony unto the mattress and let the feather glide over his naked chest. Tony loved her gentle ministrations but it got a million times better when Ziva's lips and tongue replaced the feather. This woman managed to make his heart race without even touching his throbbing erection. As if she had read his mind Ziva slowly unbuttoned Tony's pants and pulled them down together with his boxers. Despite his growing arousal Tony watched Ziva carefully, looking for any signs of distress, but finding none. Then Ziva took the feather again and started gently but thoroughly caressing his groin with it. Ziva let the soft material glide over his balls and up and down his penis, paying special attention to the sensitive tip. Tony groaned in pleasure and his eyes flattered shut. He couldn't think clearly anymore, couldn't focus on anything but the sensations the woman he loved caused.

A moment later Tony's eyes shut open again when Ziva's mouth once again replaced the feather. For a moment he worried if Ziva was comfortable with going down on him, but one look at her eyes glistering with mischief told him that she was enjoying this nearly as much as he did. He was putty in her hands and Ziva obviously loved that.

Tony moaned Ziva's name when she started gently licking the tip of his penis, letting her tongue play with his foreskin. _God, she was good. _Then Ziva began to massage the gentle skin on the underside of his shaft and his balls at the same time and Tony nearly screamed in pleasure. Scratch that. She wasn't good - she was incredible. Ziva had only been working him for a few minutes and he was already close to losing it. _Think about something else, the unsexiest thing you can come up with, DiNozzo... _But before he had found something Ziva stopped what she was doing and gave him a proud and knowing smile.

Tony pulled Ziva towards him for a heated kiss and quickly flipped Ziva over before their lips separated. Ziva looked up at him in surprise and Tony grinned.

"I hope you are prepared for the payback, sweetcheeks."

**Ziva POV**

Tony had taken her by surprise when he flipped them over, but Ziva wasn't scared when she saw him hovering over her. This was Tony and she trusted him with her life.

Ziva watched Tony while he started tending to her body with the feather, tenderly caressing her breasts and her belly with his free hand. She was feeling more and more aroused by his touches, but more than that she felt loved and cherished - a feeling no man had ever given her before.

Tony's hands moved lower and removed her pants. He hesitated after that, gently caressing her just above her panty-line, silently asking permission to fully undress her and touch her more intimately. Ziva just nodded, too focused on her feelings to speak. She was so lost in emotions and sensations that it took her a moment to notice the sudden change in Tony's expression and a moment more to realize the reason.

Tony looked shocked and his eyes lingered on the newly exposed flesh. Ziva followed his gaze and finally understood. She had actually forgotten the scars for the first time since Somalia.

Ziva vaguely noticed Tony removing her panty completely before he caressed the whip scars on her butt very softly. Ziva watched Tony's face, trying to read his expression. The shock was gone, but now he looked very sad.

Ziva sat up, suddenly feeling vulnerable in her position. Tony gently took her hand and caressed it with his thumb. "I'm sorry for staring," Tony apologized sheepishly. "I expected scars, but when I didn't see some on the rest of your body I stopped thinking about it."

Ziva nodded to signal that it was okay. She did feel uncomfortably exposed, but she couldn't blame Tony. He had just been surprised.

"They didn't just want to cause me pain. They wanted to humiliate me by spanking me like a naughty kid. And after that, before they started raping me..."

Ziva stopped, thinking it would be easier to show Tony instead of telling him. She parted the dark curls between her legs, showing Tony the cigarette shaped burn marks.

"I guess I'll stick with trimming instead of clean-shaving from now on," Ziva said to lighten the mood and to do something about the look of horror in Tony's eyes.

Instead of saying anything (really, what could you say in such a situation?) Tony just opened his arms and Ziva gladly sought refuge in them.

She contently let Tony hold her, enjoying his gentle caresses on her naked skin. It felt very intimate to hold each other like that, completely naked. In this moment it wasn't about sex and pleasure, but about comfort and closeness and that's what made it more intimate than any sexual experience Ziva had ever had.

She closed her eyes and breathed in Tony scent - a mixture of Honeydust, his shower gel and something that was simply Tony - and felt herself relax in his embrace. Ziva kissed Tony's chest gently and started caressing his back, while Tony was stroking her back with one hand and buried the other one in her hair, playing with her curls.

"I love your hair. Especially when you don't straighten it like today. It makes you look wild," Tony stated and Ziva laughed, finally looking up to meet his gaze.

Tony smiled at her, still playing with her hair. "Would you think I'm weird if I asked you if I may wash and brush your hair tomorrow?"

Ziva laughed. "Tony, I think you are weird since the day I met you."

"Is that a yes?" Tony asked hopefully.

"I'm not a barbie doll, Tony."

Tony looked at her with mock hurt. "I know that, Ziva. That's why I won't use pink glitter hairclips on you."

"Don't you dare!" Ziva said as threatening as she could manage while she tried not to laugh.

Tony grinned. "I take that as permission to do anything with your hair that doesn't involve pink hairclips."

"You do remember that I can kill you in 18 different ways with a paperclip, yes?"

He laughed. "Of course I do, my ninja," he said and pulled her in an embrace again, gently kissing her. Ziva deepened the kiss and climbed on his lap, straddling him. She wanted to be as close as possible to Tony and she didn't feel the least bit scared anymore.

Their kiss was deep and sensual instead of rushed and they took their time exploring each other's bodies with their hands. After a few minutes of kissing and touching Tony laid Ziva down again and started trailing kisses all over her body. He took his time to cherish Ziva's body with kisses, starting on her neck, slowly moving lower. He lingered on her breasts, first kissing them lightly and then taking closing his moth over her left nipple, sucking gently. Ziva moaned loudly at his actions. She had enjoyed his gentle kisses and soft touches, they had made her feel so loved and cherished. But now she needed more. She was throbbing with need and she desperately needed release. When Tony let go of her breast and moved further down she hoped he had gotten the message, but he still took his time, planting kisses on her belly and playfully licking her belly button. When his mouth was finally just an inch away from where she needed it, Tony stopped and brushed the curls between her legs with his finger in the softest possible way and it took Ziva a moment to realize that he was caressing her scars as if he was trying to erase the painful touch of Saleem and his men with his gentle one. Ziva was touched by the gesture. Eventually Tony's lips replaced his fingers and he gently kissed the scars on her most intimate place before moving his lips to her lower lips, tasting her arousal. Tony let his lips wander over Ziva's sex, but avoided her throbbing clit, making Ziva groan in frustration. Tony chuckled and finally started licking her where she needed it so badly. Ziva moaned loudly at the sensation. It turned out that Tony was very good with his mouth when he stopped talking for a change. He licked and sucked her just the right way, sending waves of pleasure through her body. Eventually Tony caressed her entrance with his finger and in her lustful haze it took Ziva a moment to understand that he was asking for permission to enter her with his fingers.

"God, yes!" Ziva moaned and Tony pushed one finger into her - very slowly and very gently, although Ziva was so wet and aroused by now that the extra care wasn't necessary. Soon Tony had found her G-shot and started stroking it, never stopping his oral ministrations. As soon as Tony's finger had found his target Ziva screamed in pleasure. Tony inserted a second finger and started rubbing her sweet spot more forcefully and Ziva was close to seeing stars.

"Yes, Tony, like that! Oh God!" Ziva screamed. Just a few moments more and she would reach an earth shattering orgasm.

And then Tony stopped.

**Tony POV**

Tony was actually feeling bad when he saw Ziva's frustrated expression. He really wanted to give Ziva as much pleasure as he could, but he thought it might be better if she was as turned on as possible for the actual sex. He hoped that way she would be focused on her need for relief and not on memories of Somalia when he entered her. But telling her that would make his plan kind of pointless.

"I told you I would pay you back for teasing me," Tony said instead and gave Ziva his best boyish grin.

Ziva returned his grin and before Tony realized what Ziva was up to she had pushed him on his back and sat on top of him.

"Enough teasing," Ziva demanded and Tony grinned again.

"No complain there." He managed to open the drawer of his nightstand with Ziva on top of him and pulled out a condom, which Ziva took away from him before he could open it.

Ziva ripped the package open and rolled the condom onto Tony's fully erect penis, massaging his shaft and balls in the process, making Tony groan in pleasure. _This is about Ziva, _Tony reminded himself. _Keep control. _But it was hard to think clearly with Ziva's skillful hands on him. Stopping at this point would be pure torture, but he knew he would if Ziva showed any sign of discomfort.

He didn't have time to look for these signs though, because a moment later Ziva was on top of him and quickly lowered herself onto his waiting member. His low moan was met by an equally existed sound from Ziva and he could tell that she was feeling nothing but pleasure. Tony started to massage Ziva's clit while she rode him, wanting to give her as much bliss as possible.

"Oh god, Tony, yes," Ziva moaned, picking up a faster pace, desperate for release. It didn't take long until Ziva was screaming something in Hebrew with his name in between and even though Tony didn't understand her words he knew she was close. A moment later he could feel Ziva's muscles clench around him while she was screaming his name. Tony continued to caress her clit, letting her ride out her orgasm.

Tony was aching for release, but when Ziva came down from her high his attention was with her. Ziva had stopped moving and closed her eyes while she was catching her breath. When she didn't open her eyes right away he started to worry and gently caressed her thighs to get her attention. It worked. Ziva opened her eyes and met his concerned gaze.

"Are you okay, Neshama?"

Ziva smiled. "More than okay." She leaned down to kiss Tony which was a little awkward in their position, with him still inside of her. Somehow she couldn't get as close as he wanted her to be.

"Flip me over," Ziva demanded and Tony was a little surprised by the request. He knew Ziva had always preferred to be on top and after the traumatic experience in Somalia he thought she needed this kind of control even more.

He complied anyway and a moment later he was lying on top of Ziva, their faces just inches apart.

"Okay?" he asked again, worried that she might feel trapped with his weight on her.

"It will be when you kiss me."

Tony smiled and granted her wish, sharing a long and tender kiss with Ziva. She had obviously craved the feeling of his arms around her and his lips on hers as much as he had longed for her closeness.

Tony started moving inside her slowly, making sure to be very gentle now that he was in control. But soon their kisses became more heated and Ziva started moving her hips impatiently, showing him what she needed. Tony gladly complied and started moving faster and soon the least bit of self-control left him and he let his passion for Ziva take over. After only a few minutes (he hoped Ziva wouldn't tease him about that later) he started losing it and when Ziva reached her second orgasm Tony came, too, harder than he had ever had before. He just managed to pull out of Ziva and roll on his back so he wouldn't crush her before he collapsed on his bed, recovering from his mind-blowing orgasm.

Tony took a moment to catch his breath, but soon turned on his side to look at Ziva. She was laying on her back, eyes closed, her face still flushed and her breathing erratic, but she looked completely content and sated and Tony couldn't help but feel proud knowing that he had made his Ziva feel like that.

After a moment of silent admiration he gently reached out to caress Ziva's cheek. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. He didn't know how long they stayed like that, just looking at each other, him gently caressing Ziva's cheek. Time stood still and they were lost in their own world and Tony almost felt a little sad when Ziva leaned in a little closer and broke the spell with a feather light kiss. Tony returned the kiss, deepening it, but keeping it gently and loving.

Reluctantly Tony eventually excused himself to the bathroom to get rid of the condom, only to return to Ziva a minute later. He didn't want to be apart from her. Since Somalia he had wanted nothing but take Ziva in his arms and hold her forever and now that he was finally allowed to do it he would cherish every minute they had together.

Tony went back to the bed and Ziva snuggled contently in his arms. Tony wrapped his arms around her while Ziva rested her head on his chest and started lazily caressing her back.

"Thank you," Ziva whispered eventually and looked up to meet Tony's confused gaze. "For making this easy for me, for being so gently, for… being you."

Tony smiled. "Thank you for loving me," he answered and continued to caress Ziva until she fell asleep in his arms.


End file.
